I went in!

There’s a scene in the movie Castaway, towards the end where the deserted Tom Hanks is building a raft and is FINALLY going to get off his island—or die trying. He realizes he needs more rope to finish the job, but has used all the rope making materials he can find. He knows where he can get more rope—but has avoided going there because of fear and painful memories. A few years earlier, he had tried to hang himself from a tree on a high cliff—and the much needed rope was still there. So he did it—and he finished his raft which eventually led to his rescue.

Today I needed something too—although not nearly as dramatic. I was taking the kids to the pool and I couldn’t find goggles. Stupid goggles! I knew where some were, but I have successfully avoided it until now. There were some goggles in Zachary’s diaper bag. I remember this because two days a week I took Aubrey and Claire to swim practice and Zachary and I would hang out in the parent’s viewing area. His diaper bag has been sitting on the floor in my bedroom since February. I’ve avoided it like the plague. There is a room full of his clothes and toys that I see almost every day--but for some reason his diaper bag has been off limits. Maybe it’s because it has been left completely undisturbed since he was living—the last time it was opened I was probably needing to change his diaper or find a snack for him.

Today I needed goggles. So I went in. There were diapers, wipes, his busy book, little bags of snacks, his noisy little toy cell phone, and binkies. Oh, the binkies! We could never find them when he needed one. His diaper bag was a gold mine of binkies—there had to be 7 or 8 of them in there. I found his shoe that had been missing and an outfit that was way too small for him. I found a couple of my lipsticks and the beaded necklace that he yanked off my neck which sent little beads flying everywhere during Sacrament Meeting a few days before his accident. Of course, I found two pair of goggles.
I needed them, and so I found them. I did it quickly and now it’s done. I don’t think this will lead to my rescue. That’s all I have to say about that.